Turns out being up front about leaving from day one doesn’t make it any easier.
I had significantly less time with this group and, perhaps because I 100% knew I was temporary and so did they, there was definitely more care to toe the line of professionalism. It was, in some ways, a less emotional departure, but not in the ways that mattered. I love my job and I try really hard to pour everything I can into it. But being on the trail also makes you realize how insignificant most of the drama in life is. Of course, none of that stops you from forming relationships with the people around you. Especially since I was quickly reunited with my core team from Breezes; my Senior Manager, Sous Chef, and one of the Assistant Managers of the pool bars, all in the same office again for coffee binges and closed door rants.
It’s strange going back out to do something like this when all the uncertainty is gone. For us, there is always an element of winging it, but now we know what’s in our packs, how to quickly set up and break down camp, and how to structure a resupply for two dogs and two people out of a gas station in a tiny-ass town (a skill you didn’t know you needed). But we also know all the aches and pains that come with a long distance hike. You don’t easily forget knee and back pain so bad you have trouble standing, or a sleepless night on the ice cold floor of a storm shelter aptly named “The Dungeon.”
It’s a combination of excitement and apprehension. I like financial security, routine, and I have an unhealthy love for my bed – my first big girl furniture purchase, and the first mattress I have ever had that wasn’t second hand. I like going out to restaurants and coffee shops and movies with friends. I love hiking, but I also don’t have the same issues with society that many hikers seem to. I don’t feel like I’m running away from something, or like I am mired in the period of transition that so many hikers seem to be when they set out. I just like to hike. I want to, more than anything, just to see if I can.
So, anyway, all that rambling to say that leaving again is a weird feeling. I don’t know, man. I’m not really sure how I am “supposed” to feel about doing this again. So, like everything else on this trail, I guess I’ll just wing it.
Till next time,